Dreams


The sun is too much

yesterday the darkness was too much

But now the sun is too much

And everything is tiring

Even though I havent done a thing

Everything is tiring

Maybe Im lacking the vitamins that I overdosed on yesterday

A shot of D and vitamin D can surely kill depression

A man had 4 pints of coke with his meal and now the internet hates him whats the big deal?

I look down on my hands who used to make wonderful meals

Now mainly used to microwave feels

The sun is still up

But the darkness is already too much 

If I lay down a moment will I loose the momentum?

Make another coffee and repeat ad infinitum

I call up my sister

tell her everything is deligt, 

I refuse request for video, I dont feel like smiling,

And I make another coffee, its a delight

Open up my emails, prepare for a fight,

But they are empty

As theyve been, 

Five long months so it seems,

History class on Teams, 

Solidifies my belief,

That art is a career for the privileged, 

and for others its just dreams.





160th Anniversary of the London Underground

In light of the 160th Anniversary of the London Underground I wanted to share a poem from my upcoming collection Bold Brushstrokes

05.11.2021


The Circle Line

that great big snake

who eats its own tail 

its the home of 

the workers

that were 

too tired to leave


so they made their home on 

The Circle Line

property market as it is

probably not a bad idea

And they slept between stops

going in constant circles 

barely noticing the change of driver


In time they too became drivers

And thus never had to leave


And posh people started avoiding The Circle Line

as they'd abandoned The Central Line before 

the environment becoming too familiar and reminiscent of a sense of community

And no matter how many coffee shops and yoga centers they opened

the people wouldnt leave


So eventually they had 

to give the line

back to the people


And thats how we started to reclaim

Our London. 


Something Stupid



I run my mouth too much

Can’t hold onto a bloke 

Can't resist the urge to throw out a snarky joke

Because girls my age are too old to act vapid

Looking for lovers that can do more than just tap it

Tryna keep it cool but my heartbeat’s getting rapid 

I guess I should quit I don't want a relationship

Anyway

It’sn too much stress, too much battling convention

Traditional gender roles causing all sorts of tension

And my lover, he likes being the little spoon

And he asks me if I do not like to feel protected

But I'm ok, I've got a broad back and I don't feel affected 

By the heartbreaks and hurdles, more frequent as I get older

But his muscles feel like he’s carrying the world upon his shoulders

Until dawn, I can help him release these boulders


Yet I’m afraid to give too much away

Scared to find him growing colder, there’s so much I’ve yet to say

We’re running out of time, growing bolder everyday


I let my words run free, I've  got nothing to lose

He replies dismissively and I know it’s going to bruise

To let go or just try harder, ay there’s the rub, I’ve got to choose

And I wonder what he’d say if he’d step into my shoes


All the knots in my stomach and the tension in my back

Overwhelming shame over social skills I lack

We were a perfect picture but now it starts to crack 

I said something stupid, can I take it back?



(UN)Settled Status


Seems ironic to have settled status

When I have never felt settled in this country 

Sometimes welcomed

Sometimes not

Mostly ok as long as I play the role 

of the good immigrant

Don't protest or criticize 

Don't take things meant for them

Assimilate the culture

but be aware you can't own it


I feel unsettled.

Maybe not surprising 

when I can't even pass a reference check 

without a UK guarantor


I feel lost

and unsettled 

And yet I am privileged 

I have this piece of paper many do not

Is that enough for me?


Should I settle?




Sensory Overload

21.10.2018                                              Sensory overload


I struggle with crowds when I’m sober

I go between wanting attention

and wanting to disappear

All the while I am craving connection 

I see everyone smile, having fun 

And how I long to be with them 

Enjoying our lives while we’re young

but no one is  engaging

and I don’t feel like forcing it

I don’t feel like conforming by speaking to a guy just because he’s fit

And they talk abour art

in a self obsessed bubble 

I’m already worn out

when I take another tumble 

Someone is shouting

someone is talking too loud

and I just can’t stand the sound

I just can’t stand the sound

The light is too bright

and my bag is too heavy

and Im trying too hard to

convince myself I love it



Pockets

Years ago we wrote our future in the stars, 

we sowed it into the holes in out pockets,

promised each other we’d make it


Time went by and so did I

further away than I dreamed

But I never forgot to look to the stars

and wonder if it was still there


And sometimes I doubted

as the present grew heavy 

sometimes I wanted to leave

But the future we held was still in my pockets

I just forgot how to see



Nostalgia

Those were our days and we thought they’d last forever,

Those were the times, the times we were free.

Not much growing in our pockets but we found a way through it,

we all stuck together, fought for the right to be.



We thought that we knew the way that the world turns,

we remembered the summer, ignoring the fall.

And when winter came, it stayed sunny in our hearts,

For a time enjoyed wasting is not wasted at all.



How are you?

17.08.2020

How are you feeling today?

Ask me how am I feeling today.

Not are you ok?

Not your arite?

Like you are expecting me to nod and just go on with my life. When we have collectively experienced something so profoundly horrifying, so deepy affecting, do not ask me if im ok because I am not. 



Do not ask me if I am ok and do not tell me that you are. 

Do not ask me if I am ok unless you are prepared to listen, yes really listen about all the ways that I am and I am not. 

How are you feeling today?

Ask me that

Ask yourself that. 

Check in with yourself and check in with others

Do not ask me if I am ok, I am not

And I am just fine with that.



Secret Diary of a Fringe Gal: Day 3

Day 3. My first day as a volunteer. All volunteers get a festival pass which enables them to see any show if there is space after paying guests have entered. Which is how I financed this writing project. Being self employed in lockdown for 4 months is not fun or financially stable. But it ultimately lead to me going to Iceland to live with my parents for a while and recover financially, which again lead to me being able to attend this festival in the first place.

Im working in Tjarnarbíó, in the box office. My job is to sell tickets but mainly to explain to guests the situation with the wristbands. In order to attend any show at the festival, a festival goer has to purchase and wear a festival pass in the form of a wristband. It costs 1000 Krónur or about 5 pounds and combined with a ticket gives you entry to any show at the festival. A one time purchase that you carry with you throughout the festival. It enables festival goers to recognise one another and also gives you discounts at various places. Most useful is the 20% discount at the bar, Iceland is an expensive country remember. So many people struggled to understand this system. ´Cant I just buy a ticket?´ No you need the wristband as well. ´But I’m only seeing one show?´ And I only use Netflix to watch Drag Race but I still have to pay for the whole thing. Maybe you should use this as an opportunity to see more shows at the festival? That or buy 4 drinks at the bar, then you’ve saved enough money to more than make up the cost of the wristband?

The confusion was real. But most importantly, after the audience was let into the venue, I was able to sneak out of the box office whilst Sindri Sigríðarson, Marketing Director at Tjarnarbíó, offered to guard the office in case of latecomers. It was a rare occurrence. Icelandic people do everything at the very last minute, but not late, we are never late. Thanks to Sindri, I was able to see every show programmed that night.

First I saw Rebirth, which Sindri had a part in creating. Rebirth is an aerial silk show based around the seasons and the theme of rebirth. It is a visually stunning experience. An hour goes by in a blur, I would have seen it again if I´d had the time. Prior to seeing Rebirth, I was unfamiliar with aerial silks as an art form other than, I knew it existed. And what an introduction to the art form it is. Its dance, its gymnastics, its stunning. And the pure athleticism of the performers. As someone who is afraid of heights, I have no choice but to stan.

Following Rebirth is Þriggja rétta, a new Icelandic show. This show is very interesting, there is definitely a lot to unpack here. I could write a whole post just about this one show. It starts in complete silence, a couple enjoying a romantic meal separated by a huge buffet table. They spend probably about 20 minutes in complete mimesis until one of them announces that he wants to become a gay. ´A gay?´ the other says, surprised, ´that’s absurd, gays don’t exist´ And there starts an hour-long surreal journey into being gay and eating food. And how it’s rude to refuse food yet not good to stuff oneself. Privileges are presented in the form of courses one can eat, has the right to eat, or has to eat. It mixes a bunch of references from Icelandic pop culture in with the shows surreal, yet surprisingly thorough storyline. Definately one to watch.

My voices have Tourettes is next up. Having seen Squeak the following day it was save to say I was very excited and well expecting to laugh a lot. The show is good but you tell the performers were tired, understandably probably as they told how they´d just finished a very successful but long tour in Sweden. And then there´s the obvious culprit, Covid. I think thats Covid depression will be an uninvited guest at any arts festival for years to come. 3 mmbers of My Voices Have Tourettes performed that evening, each with a 15 min slot which I personally found rushed. For a first show at the festival I found it good. Everyone knows that opening night at the fringes is pretty crap. My Voices Have Tourettes is anything but crap, it does what it says on the tin. It makes you laugh, whilst raising awareness about what it´s like to live differently.

Jono Duffy - Im tired

This, was arguably the best show of the fringe. Jono Duffy is a known entity in Iceland. An Australian comedian, residing in Reykjavík that performed at a regular basis. He is now heading into what may be a long or a forever hiatus because he, understandably is tired. I mean who can blame him? I´ve only been in this industry ten odd years, only had a degree in it for three. And I am tired too. In between hilarious anecdotes abotu Icelanders and his dehabilitating fobia of Santa Claus, Jono satririses the sturggle that performers have to go through to make a living, what LBTQ performers have to go through to be accepted, or more accurately to just exist in the same spaces as heterosexual white performers. The show is hilarious, emotional and inspiring. It should be recorded and shown at every college everywhere as a part of social studies, life skills and sex ed classes. The section on periods alone debunks so many myths men still have about this event that women go through EVERY MONTH that it would help women for years to come. Jono Duffy, is one of the best comedians that Iceland has every had. He stands up there with the greats. And now he´s retiring. Do not miss any opportunity to see him perform before he leaves the world of comedy, maybe for good. Many worse comedians have netflix specials.

After Jono´s show I am emotionally exhausted, yet hopeful and barely catch the last bus home. Stay tuned for day 4, where we go into the reality of festivals in Covid times and steps towards greater inculsivity.

Secret Diary of a Fringe Gal: Day 2

Day 2. Im at the main comedy venue, Secret Cellar. It comprises of two performance spaces, one upstairs int eh main bar and one, more classic, downstairs. The downstairs area is an interesting one. Visually it is stunning and will doubtlessly be used for filming in the future. It is however next to the smoking lounge. So unless you happen to enjoy smoking prepare to be uncomfortable. In fact just take a mask with you. That should do the trick. Of course this is one of the advantages of watching the livestream through crowd cast which is both smoke free and socially distanced. If you follow Reykjavik Fringe on Crowncast it enables you to watch all the performances without asking for a payment. We do however encourage you to donate to the artist, a PayPal link will be provided during the stream.

The first show I saw was Do You Gal with Kat McDogal. This show is basically perfect. And its only on one more time, on Sunday so make sure you catch it. Do You Gal is the story of learning to come to terms with oneself, dealing with grief at a young age and seeing the funny side of it all. It is inherently feminist and pee yourself funny. I do thoroughly recommend seeing Kat if you get the chance.

The second show I saw was Squeak with comedian Dan Zerin which should be familiar to those on the comedy scene as a member of My Voices Have Tourettes. In his first solo show Dan talks about having tourettes and the struggle of going through airport security with dark hair, a bear and a whole plethora of tics. Dan´s show was introduced by his friend Stefnir, who recently joined My Voices Have Tourettes. Dan works well with the audience and as a commanding stage presence. He is honest about his tics and how, sometimes, performing can make them worse due to the stress he experiences. Which is an interesting viewing experience to say the least.

Shortly after that I had to retire home to my countryside home. Being carless is not so glamorous when you live in country with unreliable public transport. It does however give you a moment to pause and think and to take everyday as it come. But coupled with a fulltime job, it is not exactly aiding me in having the complete Fringe experience. But perhaps a fringe festival in Iceland is an entity of its own and not to be compared with other more esthablished festivals. But thats exactly what makes it so exciting, the idea that absolutely anything can happen. You think you know fringe by now but the Reykjavik Fringe is completely unique. Definately one to watch out for.

Secret Diary Of a Fringe Gal: Day 1

Ok its not actually day 1 so I have already failed what I had planned to do. After 4 months in lockdown I finally decided enough was enough and booked a flight to Iceland. Then I started looking into what I could do there. I applied for a few jobs, a course at the university and put myself forwards as a volunteer at Reykjavik Fringe. I got two of the jobs I applied for, got into the university course and was accepted as a volunteer at the Fringe. Hence why I’ve only really had time to sit down and type this out now. After testing negative at the airport I was able to reunite with my family in our childhood home in Iceland. It felt… surreal to say the least. But more on that later. I know why you are all here. You want to hear about the THEATRE! And who can blame you? With the situation in the UK being dire to say the least and other countries are not far behind. I have a theory that the theatre industry all over Europe is collapsing but artists might not be as vocal about it because their government hasn’t left them in the actual pooper. So lets discuss Europe’s possibly only fringe festival summer 2020.

Reykjavik Fringe is relatively new on the scene. That being said it has an array of shows in English and an impressive range of international acts programmed. Had an impressive range that is. Most of the international acts either cancelled due to COVID and or travel complications. But the organisers of Reykjavik Fringe tackled the problem head on and a number of acts have chosen to perform via livestream from the safety of their own home. The first such show, Crapshoot! Or Why Al voted for Trump: A Lovestory was live-streamed during the opening party. Although I think the audience was slightly too distracted by the free booze to pay attention to the livestream. After the show the opening party kicked off for real. In Iceland there is only a ban of gatherings of over 500 people so that makes for a pretty decent party. Unfortunately bars are only allowed to stay open till 11pm but hey ho what can you do. During the party there were pop up performances from various artists performing at the festival. My personal favourite was the performance by Sirkus Unga Folksinns or the Youth Circus. It was particularly impressive to see them work around how crowded and small the venue was.

The night ended early due to the restrictions but it was very successful. Don’t worry day 2 brings about more performances as I visited the main comedy venue Secret Cellar.

Comment

How to enjoy going to the theatre, online.

We are a week into lockdown here in the UK and the art world as before has not let us down. In these dark and trying times, artists are crowding to move online like never before. There are many opportunities to get better, spend time with others or just distract yourself for a moment. The Sing Space offers a live vocal warm-up every day led by Rachel Lynes, WeAudition has paired up with Faye Timby and Sophie Holland Casting to offer open casting sessions and Spotlight are running a 1-2-1 meeting with casting directors every now and then.

But the real value lies in the wealth of good quality theatre now available for streaming. The Show Must Go Online, an initiative by Robert Myles, features actors from all over the world who will be streaming a reading of each of Shakespeare’s plays in chronological order, every Wednesday at 7 pm. On Thursdays, starting this week, we can look forward to what the National Theatre archive is bringing us and on various days throughout the week The Reykjavík City Theatre broadcasts both archived footage of former shows and various material conjured by the company which is still contracted to the theatre. This has so far featured readings, concerts, storytelling, and a DnD campaign. Unfortunately for the English speaking this material is all in Icelandic but it is accessible via the Borgarleikhúsið YouTube channel should it tickle your fancy.

Through my viewings of these various productions, I have discovered many things. Firstly that there was no reason for arts organizations to be hesitant to put their work up online in terms of quality. The leaps and bounds that we have taken in regard to filming equipment and education in the film industry mean that most of the footage is of high quality. In fact, I was surprised to see that Borgarleikhúsið´s production of Richard III, which was filmed by students from my alma mater Borgarholtskóli, was on a level with any TV production I´ve seen. Although to be fair, when I attended college, I did not exactly excel in film production, my talents were better suited to journalism and editing. One wonders if the real reason these productions have not been made available before is because of the possible loss of capital for the arts organization. Whilst understandable, it is my opinion that capital gain should never be at the forefront of a publically-funded arts organization and I urge more to follow in the footsteps of the previously mentioned.

There is an art to enjoying live-streamed theatre, however. In one´s home, there are a myriad of distractions and the wine list is sorely lacking a dreamy Primitivo. But the following tips should help you make the most out of your at-home theatre experience. Most of these tips are based on the way we were taught, as fresh-faced actors, to approach a script upon the first reading. And others are just technicalities.

  1. Make sure the streaming takes place with the best equipment at hand. Don’t just watch it on your phone whilst you play Age of Empires on the laptop. You will miss plot points. Cast it on the TV or put it on full screen on your laptop. Connect it to a set of speakers if you have them. Dim the lights and draw the curtains.

  2. Gather your family or housemates, or if in total isolation, decide to watch it remotely at the same time. A video call may be a good option but you risk a delay or lag. I would recommend rather that you call each other before, in the interval and after. Discuss what you are expecting from the production, what you have seen so far and whether you would have bought a ticket to this production on a normal day. How does that affect your experience of the piece?

  3. Put your phone on a do not disturb mode so you are not inundated with irrelevant notifications. It is fair if you want to discuss the piece with your friends via WhatsApp or a similar media format but you don’t want your phone to light up every time you get a like or a retweet during the experience.

  4. Have your snacks and beverages ready. The upside to enjoying theatre at home is that there is no limit to the number of drinks you can take into the experience but try not to stand up to make tea every ten minutes. If you feel compelled to do so the production is probably not very good but there are more distractions in the home and therefore you have to work harder to create the optimal environment for enjoying the experience. I would also suggest limiting your intake of liquids so that you don’t have to get up to go to the toilet all the time. Try to wait until the interval.

  5. Afterwards, engage on social media. Theatre is a social art form. Put a word out on Twitter, Instagram or Facebook, telling people what you thought and engage in discussions with them. Not only is this fun and might affect your experience of the piece, but it will also be delightful for those who put a lot of hard work into making the piece. We may not always engage with you but we do see your comments.

Enjoy the experience and let me know in the comments if you have any suggestions or ideas to make this even better.

Comment

Celebration

Young woman on a train
Apologising for the space that she takes up
Hardly attempting to negotiate the armrest
I want to take her hand and tell her to take up as much space as she needs
We women rarely do
Give them the chance to ask you to move
Better yet ask them to move
To accommodate all of you
You deserve to celebrate all of you


Invisible Women

27.11.2017               


It made sense to me

At the time

But the marks my best friend showed me

After the lashes he gave her

were not ok

I had assumed she was into it

That kind of stuff.

Goes to show

you have to experience

to understand

I assumed so much

but never once did abuse cross my mind

until I saw the pictures

three years later

By then I understood

It was too late for both of us


Dísa Andersen


The Resistance


27.12.2017


I miss you

I whisper to the air

Hoping to reach you

Knowing I can’t take you back

But hoping you feel some kind of remorse

Because you were perfect

Too perfect

Like carved into marble by Michaelangelo

And I a Degas

Moving too fast for you to understand

You couldn’t handle any cracks in your surfaces

While I embraced them

And made them who I am

You were my first resistance

And I gave you the middle finger

And emerged stronger

And yet I miss your kisses in the dark

Your hunger.

But there will be other kisses in the dark

For the world is full of insatiable people.


Dísa Andersen


Richmond Hill


I think about you

every time

we sail past Richmond Hill

How we used to wander round

with hours left to kill

How you'd talk for hours on end

And rest your head on my shoulder

But now its changed, I see my friend

you look a hundred years older


The beautiful park

I sail by every day

And never get to enjoy

I think of the heart you kept at bay

and the ones you could break my boy


How to explain how much I loved you

How much I perhaps, still do

How I’ve been around the park with hundreds of men

but long to be there with you


The leaves in the park

are starting to rot

And still, I think of your smile

your arms that would hold me

both firmly and gently

when I begged you to stay

just a while


Your eyes like the water

I sank every time

How I wish that you’d left me to drown

For I'm stuck in the park

with no way to get out

stuck while you wander the town


Dísa Andersen

Time Will Tell

31.5.2018



I wanted to write you a song

But for the first time in my life I couldn’t find the words to describe what I’m feeling whilst still sticking to one theme.

And so I had to break the rules

Like so many before me undoubtedly

Our love can not be contained in verses and alliteration

It exists beyond rhyme and reason

But I who thrive in rhyme and reason

Am struggling to understand


Dísa Andersen


Comment

An excerpt from the 365 Cups of Tasteless Coffee Collection

5.5.2018


I wished to share my sunny days

and the rain against my window

But you can only give me starry nights

and promises to tender

I want someone to set ablaze

But you have burned to cinder

You have burned

Too bright

Too fast

Don’t know how long to linger

Getting dimmer, injured, thinner,

shut the blind?

Or let it simmer?

Cut the doubt

There’ll be no winner

Don’t come home

There’ll be no dinner



Dísa Andersen


Comment